Beyond My Control [NEW]
Two meta-analyses found that young Americans increasingly believe their lives are controlled by outside forces rather than their own efforts. Locus of control scores became substantially more external (about.80 standard deviations) in college student and child samples between 1960 and 2002. The average college student in 2002 had a more external locus of control than 80% of college students in the early 1960s. Birth cohort/time period explains 14% of the variance in locus of control scores. The data included 97 samples of college students (n = 18,310) and 41 samples of children ages 9 to 14 (n = 6,554) gathered from dissertation research. The results are consistent with an alienation model positing increases in cynicism, individualism, and the self-serving bias. The implications are almost uniformly negative, as externality is correlated with poor school achievement, helplessness, ineffective stress management, decreased self-control, and depression.
Beyond My Control
A lot of us get stuck because we focus on things that are outside of our control. The more we do this, the more disempowered we are, and the more frustrated or disappointed or angry or anxious we feel.
The Serenity Prayer has helped those both in and out of recovery for years. While living in this shared global anxiety attack, the Serenity Prayer is a great tool to help keep me as sane and grounded as possible. If I break down the prayer, everything falls into one of two columns, things I can do something about and things I cannot. I cannot single handedly stop this cunning, baffling and powerful virus, cure the people who are sick, or change the frantic messages I am inundated with in the media. I can however donate to charitable organizations who are providing medical equipment where it is needed, pick up the phone and check on people who are struggling, keep a schedule which includes my daily prayers and meditations and practice social distancing to do what I can to slow the spread of the virus. When I get really clear about what I can control, it comes down to only my own actions. Everything else is out of my control. Even in these bizarre and frightening times I can know a modicum of serenity if I focus on taking the next right action within my control and accept the rest.
Being on call for jury duty also reminded me that sometimes things are beyond our control. While planners like me tend to think through various scenarios to understand the potential impact as we evaluate our approach to a situation, it helps to step back and recognize that some things are bigger than our plans.
I had several people ask me why I didn't try to get out of my jury duty. However, for me, this was the one time that I had been called for jury duty for which I hadn't previously planned travel or other similar activities that would have been more difficult to get out of. That said, I accepted this situation was beyond my control and sought to make the most of it. As electronics would not be allowed in jury duty, in prioritizing my daily work, I thought through not only my deadlines and commitments but also what could be done offline versus what had to be completed online.
We first collaborated with Dominique de Merteuil on her shoot 'Winter Essentials for a Vintage Girl' back in 2018. It all started with a Pillbox hat really, but we quickly became hooked on Dominique's unique style and her engaging way of writing about all things vintage. Now we regularly head over to her website www.itsbeyondmycontrol.com to become immersed in fashion history, travel guides and the gorgeous images created by her hugely talented photographer husband Gregory Michael King
Take control. With regards to events in our lives, we can actually control very little. The only thing we really control is how we think about external events, our own judgements and actions upon them.
Train the mind. Reflect rationally on what events are causing negative emotions and unhappiness. If they are not within our control, accept them and find creative solutions, not focus on the issue. If, as example, we encounter angry, stressed people in our day, reflect that it is not their intention. It is their own mistaken judgement.
A child under the age of 18 who does not attend school, or behaves in a way that is dangerous or out of control, or often disobeys his or her parents, guardians or other authorities, may be found to be a Person In Need of Supervision or "PINS". All PINS proceedings are heard in Family Court. There is a possibility that the PINS proceeding could be settled outside of court through the Family Assessment Program (F.A.P.) that is run by the Administration for Children's Services (ACS) and the NYC Department of Probation.
Overview - About Returning Resident Visas
Step 1 - Qualifying for Returning Resident Status
Applying for a Returning Resident Visa
Step 2 - Immigrant Visa Application and Documentation
If Your Application to Determine Returning Resident Status is Not Approved
About International Travel and Permanent Residents
Overview - About Returning Resident VisasA permanent resident (called lawful permanent resident or LPR) or conditional resident (CR) who has remained outside the United States for longer than one year, or beyond the validity period of a Re-entry Permit, will require a new immigrant visa to enter the United States and resume permanent residence. A provision exists under U.S. visa law for the issuance of a returning resident special immigrant visa to an LPR who remained outside the United States due to circumstances beyond his/her control. This webpage is about Returning Resident Visas. If you are an LPR unable to return to the United States within the travel validity period of the green card (1 year) or the validity of the Re-entry Permit (2 years), you may be eligible and can apply at the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate for a Returning Resident (SB-1) immigrant visa.
Let me illustrate the difference. If you have children, you may believe you are controlling your children when they do what you are asking them to do. However, you only have the illusion of control. The children maintain control over their actions; they just decide to cooperate and to do what you want them to do. Diabetes is very much like a child. You may believe you have control because your glucose was in a healthy range at a given time. Diabetes may have cooperated, but it was not controlled.
My husband describes diabetes as the math problem that never ends. I count my carbohydrates, calculate insulin based on my insulin-to-carbohydrate ratio, and add in any correctional insulin needed before taking the dose. In reality, after many years of performing such calculations, the dose I take is still just my best estimate. Even dietitians cannot always calculate carbohydrates accurately, so what hope do I have? It is unreasonable to expect control over something if we do not know all of the factors influencing a given phenomenon. Thus, the notion of controlling diabetes places an impossible burden on both patients and their HCPs.
Ajay Devgn is learning the hard way that promises made on a public forum - in this case, social media - are not to be taken lightly. six months after he pledged in a tweet never to work with #MeToo accused, Mr Devgn is being called out for co-starring with actor Alok Nath, who was outed as an alleged sexual predator by TV producer Vinta Nanda last year. Now, after being roundly slammed for not sticking by his promise, Ajay Devgn has defended himself in a statement, claiming 'circumstances were beyond his control' and that he was being unfairly 'singled out.' Alok Nath has been cast with Ajay Devgn in an upcoming film called De De Pyar De.
In his statement, Ajay Devgn says: "Coming to the question of having worked with Mr Alok Nath in my upcoming film De De Pyar De, here I must put certain things in perspective. reiterate I am extremely sensitive to the #MeToo movement. But when circumstances are beyond me, I don't see why an attempt is being made to 'single' me out as being insensitive. This is untrue."
I trust in the ebb and flow of the universe. I trust that life's bigger than what I can see. I trust that there is a divine order beyond my control. And I trust that no matter what happens, I will be all right.
For the rest of my life there are two days that will never again trouble me. The first day is yesterday with all its blunders and tears, follies and defeats. Yesterday has passed away, beyond my control forever. The other day is tomorrow with all its pitfalls and threats, its dangers and mystery. Until the sun rises again I have no stake in tomorrow, for it is still unborn.
I read and learned and fretted more about Canada after I left than I ever did while I was home. I absorbed anything I could on topics that ranged from Folklore to history to political mainifestos... I ranted and raved and seethed about things beyond my control. In short I acted like a Canadian.
I used to think I sewed us together at the edges with my own hands, pulled the stitches tight and I could unpick them any time I wanted. Now I think it always ran deeper than that and farther, underground; out of sight and way beyond my control.
How I have tried and tried to be a splendid woman, and how destiny has been against me! ...I do not deserve my lot! ...O, the cruelty of putting me into this ill-conceived world! I was capable of much; but I have been injured and blighted and crushed by things beyond my control! O, how hard it is of Heaven to devise such tortures for me, who have done no harm to heaven at all!
5. Adopt Coping Skills. Taking a few deep breaths, practicing ways to keep your negative emotions in check, increasing the meaningfulness of what you can change, practicing mindfulness, putting it all in the hands of a higher power, and setting new goals within your real-life constraints can help you through those times when your life seems completely out of your control. 041b061a72